she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
