my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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