Your face is a jimmy john
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
