So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
