your room smells of hookers.
And success
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
