I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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