We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
