I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
