I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Randomize
