problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
