Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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