There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
