Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
