I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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