True but thats because hes a fetus.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
should my penis look like a turkey
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
