So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
