Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
