pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
