yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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