Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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