just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
