my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
