But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
