I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
