I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Randomize
