Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I had to cum in my sink.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
