What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
you made out with another girl for some wings
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize