I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
