i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
