When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
