I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
