It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
