After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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