Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
if i died would you start the facebook group?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
