You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
