There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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