will power is for people who don't want to get laid
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
