Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
She bit a glass in half.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
he just fucked me for my cheese.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
