it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
