I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize