Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
