Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
