Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
