using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize