i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
