Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
