finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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