she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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