all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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