1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize