Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
