I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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