Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Randomize
