I am in a vortex of obligation.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
