She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
