Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(601): View more from Mississippi

i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"

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(858): View more from California

I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.

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(519): View more from Ontario

and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"

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(815): View more from Illinois

His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.

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(619): View more from California

i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out

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(586): View more from Michigan

Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.

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(602): View more from Arizona

I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.

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(248): View more from Michigan

I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch

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(612): View more from Minnesota

i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter

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