Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
