woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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