they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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