In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
