i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
