4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Randomize
