You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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