but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
